Vampires on Jeju Island!!!!!!!

No, I'm not talking about hogwan directors. I'm talking about actual friggin' blood sucking vampires!!!!!

How did vampires come to be on Jeju Island? Well, it's Japan's fault you silly non-vampire-history-knowin' person!! EVERYTHING IS JAPAN's FAULT (except, of course, when it is actually America's fault)!!!

Now you may think LOJ's lost his mind. Nope. Never had a mind to lose, just ask Mrs. LOJ.

Anyways, what the hell am I talking about? Well, I was "busy" at work surfin' the net and came across the book "Curse of Jeju Island" by Ronnie Ng.



Ronnie Ng explains it all! I went over to Ronnie's blog at:

http://ronnieng.blogspot.com/

I learned the terrible truth about those Korean (but Japanese created) vampires!!

Here are some juicy tidbits to wet your appetite:

The main character is a Singaporean vampire hunter named Jackie Chang(?) (Uhhh, a little too close to "Jackie Chan" but WTF, I didn't write it.) Anyways, Jackie is a graduate of the Tokuyama Academy of Demonology. He came to Jeju Island and moved into an office/house, with his vampire hunting team, in Samdo-1-dong in Jeju City.

Ronnie tells us a little about Jackie:

My name is Jackie Chang (张杰齐) and I’m a Vampire Hunter. I'm average built, average weight and have a below-average vocabulary for the Korean language. Not surprising, since I’m from Singapore and my mother tongue is Mandarin. I have chosen to be a vampire hunter because I have always wanted to be different.

Ohhh, you want to know how the vampires were created? Well, Ronnie explains it all. Here is a little tidbit:

During the Japanese occupation, thousands of Koreans were used as test subjects (guinea pigs) in secret military medical experimentation units, such as Unit 731, Unit 516, and many more. Towards the end of the colonial period, the Japanese military scientists were working on a new project, which was a "vampirisation process" on humans through genetic alteration.
If the project proved successful, the "supposedly-dead" could remain alive through parasitic life sustenance - a biological mechanism that mimics the blood-sucking vampire bats and leeches. The Japanese Army paid some poor hapless Korean parents to allow the medical officers to perform the experiments on their children. However, the Korean parents involved in the transaction believed that the experiments were merely another series of medical trials, and were not aware that it was actually a vampirisation process.

According to the story, the mineral properties of Mt, Halla are the secret ingredient that made the vampires, buried in a cave on Mt Halla, come to life and start goin' around sucking necks on Jeju.

There are other characters, of course, including "Mirae." But Mirae has a problem:

Mirae just doesn’t enjoy that feeling of stabbing a sword across, or gunning a bullet into a vampire’s chest. She feels really bad about having to kill a fellow Korean. It just doesn’t seem right to her about killing a fellow countryman.

I guess that means if it was a Canadian created vampire English teacher, she'd have no problem cutting out its living guts and using them to grease the lugnuts on her Hyundai Sonata.

But, if you think you signed a crappy contract when you came to Jeju Island to teach English you can feel fortunate you are not Jackie Chang!!

I take aim and mow it down, then slowly walk towards it to see if it’s dying. If this vampire is fully subdued, the Governor will pay me a quarter million Korean Won for this feat.

Yep, Jackie gets 250,000 Won per vampire. That's about $200 US in today's money. $200 for killing a vampire(!?). Can you say "ripoff?" Jeez, and I thought some of the youngsters that show up on the island to teach English were stupid. Jackie makes George Bush's foreign policy advisors look intelligent! I think Jackie Chang would be a hogwan owners dream.

OK, I've been having a little fun with this, but I am actually going to look for a copy to do some light reading during the winter break. Ronnie Ng had the idea (based really, really, really close on the Buffy the Vampire Slayer television series), wrote the book(s) and is marketing them. Good on ya, Ronnie.

If you have a few minutes go on over and check out Ronnie's blog about his book(s).

If anyone knows where I can pick up a copy or two let me know.

(Note to Ronnie: I copied some stuff from your blog/book onto my blog without first getting your permission. If you want me to take it down just contact me and I'll remove the entire post. No problem.)