Time Out

I have exercised my right as the god of Lost on Jeju Land to clean up some of the items that have appeared on the blog.

It seems the comments regarding my post about the battle of the bands were growing and becoming more vociferous. While "Aaron" I were going back and forth about some issues, others wanted to join in and make what I deem to be totally inappropriate remarks towards myself and especially "Aaron." Wrong. Not happening here.

In order to be fair, I have removed all comments and my posting about our exchange. I will not post any future comments received regarding the posting.

I will continue my exchange with others regarding the issues brought up via e-mail - once my computer has risen from the dead.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot, "HanaroTelecom" sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Problems, problems.

The lack of updates recently has been the direct result of a major "issue" with which I have been contending. When it is finished some time next week I will write extensively about the miscalculations, lies, and overall crap that I have been experiencing.

Take care everyone.

Battle of the Bands - Sorta

Jeju hosted a marching band - musical group competition during the middle of August. As part of the festivities, different groups would travel around the island and give concerts. On the first night Mrs. LOJ and I went to a local park to listen to this group of high-school students from Austria.

(You can enlarge the photos by clicking on them)

I am sure they were good. However, I am not sophisticated enough to enjoy their kind of music I guess. I found myself looking at my watch and thinking "Darn, when is this going to end!"

A most interesting thing occurred when these European teenagers finished their concert. They went to the rear of the audience seating area and proceeded to take off their uniforms in full view of everyone. Several young men went bare chested and walked around to cool off. One young lady stripped down to her bra and panties and changed into street clothes. Most of the high school band members immediately pulled out cigarettes and lit up. The look of shock on the faces of the Koreans was worth the price of admission. All I could think of was "Damn, didn't they brief them on what is and is not acceptable behavior in Korea?"

The next night Mrs. LOJ and I attended a mini-concert by a group from a university in the U.S. I was thinking that the Americans, not wanting to be outdone by a group of Austrian high-school students, would engage in public fornication after the concert. No such luck. The wimps.
One thing interesting did happen with this group prior to the concert, though. As the band was making its way from their buses to the stage, I overheard one band member say to the only African- American band member "I'm asking you for me, please don't say anything bad about America while we are here. Please do it for me." This kinda pissed me off, to be honest. All I could think of was here was this young black college student who thinks he knows everything, but actually knows nothing, being asked not to criticize his home country in a country where he couldn't get a job teaching English to 1st graders. What a friggin' moron. You can see this fine example of American-college-student-ignorance at the far right side of the photo. The young man who was begging him to shut up is one of those standing at the rear of the group.

Thankfully, the concert was cut short by a rain storm. Ok, this photo sucks, but I liked how the raindrops were captured by the flash. The white specks in the photo are actually rain drops. Yeah, I know, it doesn't take much to entertain me.


The group completed their number even though they were soaked. Some in the audience were determineed to sit and watch as long as the group played. It almost seemed like an endurance contest between the few audience members and the band.

Anyways, after the mini-concert I was soaked, tired and pissed off. Taking pity on me, my wife took me out for a beer or 6 to cool me off. Mrs. LOJ is a good woman!

The Museum of Sex & Health

Mrs. LOJ and I went for a drive today. As we were driving along on Highway 12 between Andok Valley and Hwasun we happened across the Museum of Sex and Health. At first I couldn't believe that there was a third (yes, third)* museum/park on Jeju Island devoted to sex, but there it was as big as life. Of course, we had to investigate.

As we walked towards the entrance we entered an area with several scuptures and a nice fountain.




A sculpture of two women carry a naked man. I guess every man's dream of sorts. Next we were met with an indication that we weren't in Kansas anymore.


Below is a shot I took from the coffeee shop patio of the area in front of the entrance.
Once inside we paid our admission fee and were directed to the hallway to start our tour. Prior to being informed that photographs were strictly verboten I took this shot of "The Right to Sexual Equity" for those who wish to bonk their brains out. I'm kidding a little. It was an expression of the right to sexual equality. Although I think conservative church groups might have a problem with the "Reproductive Choice" section.
I wasn't allowed to take photos in the museum. But what I can tell you is that it is a sex education museum with no holds barred. It is not designed so much to titillate as to educate. OK there was some tittilation thrown in. But they showed exhibits about all kinds of sex, fetishes, AIDS and rape. There were numerous televisions playing videos of people romping around doing various things. There is one small room dedicated to the equipment and motivational magazines and videos that can be used if you want to, how shall I say, spend time alone.

In addition to the sociological, cultural and historical exhibits regarding sex they have some interesting exhibits like old porno magazines from other countries including a very early edition of Playboy featuring Jane Mansfield. In the magazine section there were a number of chairs to sit down and browse through the materials. Word of Warning: Look closely at the chairs before you sit down. If you don't you might get a carved piece of wood, that resembles a part of the male anatomy, stuck where the sun don't shine.

After we finished looking at all the exhibits, Mrs. LOJ and I went upstairs to the coffee shop. I was pleasantly surprised at how nice and comfortable it was. The magazines in the coffee shop included several types of porno and erotic publications you can read while sipping your cafe latte.
We decided to take our coffee outside onto the patio. It was a great evening. The views were tremendous. From the patio we were able to see Mt. Sanbangsan as well as a red sky to which the pictures below just don't do justice.





Overall, a nice evening at a very nice place. I just wish I had the photographic skills of "gdimension" in order to capture the beauty of the scene we saw from the coffee shop patio.

I give the museum a thumbs up. Compared to Jeju Loveland, I would consider this place definitely upscale and a lot more sophisticated. Don't tell my wife's cousin I said that.

* Jeju Loveland, The Museum of Erotica under the World Cup Stadium, and now the Museum of Sex and Health*

A Visit to Jeju Loveland

A few days ago the wife and I took an evening drive from Seogwipo to Jeju City. We decided to take the mountain road (1100). It turned out to be a beautiful drive and the agreeable weather made it a pleasant evening. As we entered Shin Jeju we noticed a traffic jam of sorts. Cars were waiting to pull into a couple of parking lots while several men armed with those little orange batons were trying to direct traffic.

As we got closer I realized we were in the vicinity of "Jeju Loveland." Jeju Loveland is an interesting place to say the least. "Gdimension" provides a first-class description of the place - with photos. Rather than go into an explanation, I recommend you hop on over there to see what I am talking about. See it here.

Anyways, Mrs. LOJ recommends we stop and see what all the commotion is about in Loveland. No, really. It was HER idea. Really.

We park the car and walk towards the long line in front of the ticket booth. As we take our place in line I hear Mrs. LOJ call out and walk over to a man in the parking lot. She makes small talk and then waves me over. Thinking "Crap, there goes my place in line," I reluctantly walk over and am introduced to my wife's cousin. "Hello, nice to meet you, etc., etc." He seemed like a really nice guy.

The cousin tells my wife and I to follow him and we proceed towards the ticket booth. All the while I was thinking, "Hey, this guy is going to buy our tickets to get in the park - and then call my wife's parents to tell them that their daughter had married a 변태." Not so. The cousin walks over to the entrance, nods at the ticket guy and waves us into the park! I ask "What is going on." Mrs. LOJ smiles and says, "It's OK, he is the manager here." I look back at her waiting for the punch line, and then say "He's in charge?" She replies, "He works for the company that owns this place and he received a promotion, so they moved him here." Outstanding! No phone call to the in-laws! After all, a son-in-law visiting a sex theme park is a lot better than a nephew actually managing one.

As we walked along with all the honeymoon couples and Japanese tourists I noticed a crowd near the rear of the park. When we get closer I saw an artist doing sketches and handing them out to the crowd. Turns out he was not sketching the tourists, but rather a topless woman and a muscular man wearing a sort of g-string. Every so often the models would change position and the artist would produce another sketch or two. The crowd seemed really interested in the "art." I'm sure it had nothing to do with the woman's bare breats or the mans barely concealed "bulge." I'm positive all the digicams, videocams and phone cams flashing, whirring and clicking were because of the artistic nature of the event. Uhhh, yeah.

After watching for a few minutes, we walk to the photo exhibition hall. Inside we view the sex themed photos and then admire another interesting exhibition. In several glass cases they had exhibited all manner of dildos, vibrators, condoms, vibrating vaginas, etc., etc.

At one point this woman comes up to me and tells me to push the button on a glass case. I do and one of the vibrators in the case starts vibrating and twirling a full 180 degrees. In another case the buttom makes a 1/25 scale, anatomically correct, rubber woman vibrate. In another glass case...... well you get the idea. They came in all shapes and sizes and colors - and speeds.

In the middle of all this Mrs. LOJ starts to laugh and directs my attention to a poster advertising a certain make and model of dildo. In order to convince potential users of how soft and pliable it was, the poster had pictures of the life-like dildo being twisted and bent into all sorts of heinous positions by a pair of hands. I don't care how tough a man may be, the poster has to make one feel a certain twinge of fear "down there." I know looking at the picture made me "twinge." I also made a promise to myself that I would never, ever forget an anniversary or birthday!

After we left the exhibition hall we walked around the park admiring the art. The most interesting thing for me was not the art (this was my second trip to the park) but the reactions of the other visitors. The giggles, gasps and scenes of old ajummas pretending to shield their eyes were the highlight of the evening for me.

Although an overall interesting evening, one thing did disturb Mrs. LOJ and I. Several couples were walking around the park with their children. I don't know, maybe I'm just an old fogey. But I really don't think it appropriate to drag elementary school age kids to an exhibition of dildos, vibrators and vibrating vaginas - or sexually explicit artwork.

All in all, it was an interesting visit. If you come to Jeju, give it a visit. If anything, it will shoot holes in the belief that Korea is a sexually repressed society.

Last Korean Class Update

I neglected to mention earlier that when I secured the part-time job it caused a scheduling conflict with my Korean language class. Of course, the mercenary side of me prevailed in the conflict and I dropped out of the class.

I was browsing through the Halla Ilbo today and found an article about the class. I was thinking of translating the article here, but decided I was just too darn lazy.

"우리글도 배우고 마음도 나누고"
송산동 '외국인 한국어교육' 눈길

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서귀포시 송산동 주민자치위원회가 '자치마을 만들기' 시범사업으로 추진하는 외국인 대상 한국어 교육이 일석이조의 효과를 올리며 눈길을 끌고 있다.

송산동 주민자치위원회(위원장 강승원)는 지난 6월5일부터 6개월 과정으로 지역내에 거주하는 외국인들을 대상으로 한국어 및 생활문화 교육을 실시하고 있다.

참여 외국인은 무려 23명으로 필리핀 베트남 일본 중국 캄보디아 등의 근로자나 한국인과 결혼한 여성들이다.

수필가인 허경자씨가 강사로 참여, 매주 화요일과 목요일 오후 4시부터 1시간 반 정도 강의를 진행하는데 참여외국인들이 무더위 속 배움 열기도 좋을 뿐만 아니라 주민자치위원들이 현장학습까지 곁들여지면서 한국문화를 배우는데도 많은 도움을 줘 지역주민들과의 적응도 빨라 일석이조의 효과를 보고 있다.

강승원 위원장은 "지역 내 국제결혼 이주자 등이 증가하면서 도내 주민자치위원회에서는 처음으로 한국어 교육을 마련했는데 배움의 열기가 한여름 찜통더위를 무색케하고 있다"고 말했다.

한편 이영두 서귀포시장은 최근 교육현장을 찾아 격려하고 외국인들의 효과적인 한국어 교육을 위해 냉방시설을 지원하기로 했다.

Books? Books!!??? They've got books!!!!! Hey, now wait a damn minute. They didn't have books when I was there. Air conditioning too!!!!???? Wimps.

In other news, the lady that was the subject of "John's" "Hey, LOJ she gave me her cell phone number" idiocy, didn't show up at last night's class. It's a damn shame. It's OK if I lose a student because I was an idiot, but when it was because of another student it really bugs me.

I think we'll play the world's shortest version of the "Lifeboat" game during the next class. That way I can throw "John" out of the friggin' boat!

How Do I Pick Up A Girl?

Last week I was working with my part-time English conversation class regarding “Small-talk.” Subjects included how strangers start, conduct and finish “small-talk” while waiting in lines, on the subway, the first day of class, etc. Everything was going fine. The doctor of the group really surprised me with his humor and acting during the role-play exercises.

About halfway through the second hour “John” the Army officer says “LOJ, I want to learn how to pick up girls. What kind of small talk can I use?” Now, my class that day consisted of 10 adult women and 2 men. I really didn’t feel comfortable with the subject for a number of reasons. Not the least of which is that as a young man I was horrible at it. I couldn’t pick up a girl if I used a forklift. I mumbled something about “Well, we’ll talk about that later. Let’s continue with finding things in common with strangers.”

I continued to assist other students during their role-plays. The doctor “William” came back up with a partner and went through their mini-drama. It was hilarious. He reminded me of a cross between “The Fonz” on the old TV show “Happy Days” and someone having an epileptic fit. He was great. After William sits down I hear “LOJ, I don’t have a girlfriend. How can I pick up a girl?” I replied “Ask William, he’s cool.” The class laughed and that seemed to settle John down for a while.

All seemed to go well, that is, until the end of class. As we were wrapping up “John” yells out from the rear of the class. “Hey LOJ, XXX, my partner, just gave me her cell phone number, what should I do now!?” He was serious. I looked over at his female partner who looked like a deer caught in the headlights. She also looked like she was going to be sick. I replied, while pretending to put my notes away, “I dunno, whatever.”

I really felt sorry for the woman, how friggin’ embarrassing. Especially since she is a little older than John and married, and a mother, and all of that is known to the class. I saw some of the other ladies in the class look down at their desks or exchange silent (extremely loud, silent) glances with each other. I thought to myself “Uh, oh. Crap. Thanks John, you knucklehead.”

Well, yesterday I have class and guess who doesn’t show up? That’s right, the woman. Surprise, surprise. I hope she returns for the next class. She was very talented and a nice lady. It would be a shame to lose her because of John.