Enough already!!!!!

I don't know about you but I am getting sick and tired of Michael Jackson this and Michael Jackson that on TV. Is ANYTHING else happening in the world? Michael Jackson is dead. He wasn't the friggin Messiah. Get over it and move on. Every time I see anything about Michael Jackson I turn the channel.

Unfortunately, when I do change the channel I am usually greeted with the Korean figure skater Kim Yu Na. I am so damn tired of seeing Kim Yu Na selling everything from refrigerators to tampons. I am not exaggerating one bit. In one 5 minute period on OCN the other night, I counted 4 Kim Yu Na commercials back-to-back selling 4 different products! I am starting to hope she falls on her ass during her next competition. Maybe then there will be room for someone else to try to sell me face cream, or cancer insurance, or car mufflers, or haptic "handphones," or Samsung air conditioners, or milk or whatever.

Enough already!!!!!

Operation Copenhagen and Korea Customs Service

OK, so I couldn't think of any other catchy name for this post.

After dealing with Korea Customs Service, and learning a few things along the way, I decided to do an experiment to see how the system runs with regular mail.

So, on July 1st I ordered 10 cans of Copenhagen snuff. A totally legal tobacco product that is sold at PX's on U.S. Army and Air Force facilities across Korea, but virtually unknown in the general population here.

OK, OK I can hear the groans from here. Yes, I know dipping snuff is disgusting. But every now and then I like to partake. Why? Well, let me tell you....

1) I'm married so I don't have to worry about attracting girls. I can belch, fart and spit all I want to now. Heck, I can even walk around my house in my boxers scratching my balls and not give a crap. Ain't love grand!

2) I pay all these friggin premiums for cancer insurance so why not risk a little oral cancer to get my money's worth.

3) Dental treatments in Korea are relatively inexpensive. So, problems with the occasional tooth falling out can be taken care of in a jiffy.

4) I can play the ever popular game "Guess what's stuck between LOJ teacher's teeth" every time I smile in class.

5) Having a mouth full of tobacco spit ready to go at a moments notice is nice. Especially when walking in a cross walk and a taxi almost hits you. Getting it in an open window on a hot day is just grand. Korean bird crap ain't got nuthin' on some good ole Virginia tobacco spit, let me tells ya.

6) It's useful for marking your way back home during an alcohol fueled night out with the boys.

7) Walking to work and "Kimchi" the wonder dog bothering you? A well placed gob a tobacco spit usually discourages them (It can also work wonders with "Mr. Kim" the wonder drunk...).

8) It helps exercise your brain. Trying to constantly remember which "Pocari Sweat" can is your spit can and which contains your drink is difficult. Yes, I have mixed them up.....

9) It gives the age old question "Do you spit or swallow? a whole new meaning.

10) Watching your macho, "tough guy" Korean friend get dizzy, pass out and puke - not necessarily in that order - after you give him a dip, is priceless. Especially, after spending the previous half hour trying to convince them they are not "man enough" to handle Copenhagen snuff (heh, heh, heh). One of my brothers-in-law is still the butt of family jokes over a "Copenhagen tough guy" incident a few years ago.

So, I decided to order some and see 1) How fast it gets here, 2) If there are any problems with customs, 3) Is there a difference in how regular mail versus package services are handled 4) If the fact that I had tobacco related products sent to me at the end of May and beginning of June will raise a red flag at Customs - even though all the tobacco is for personal use only.

This shipment was ordered under my name and addressed to me. My next order, in about two months, will be made under my wifes name. I want to see if there is an actual difference in how the shipments are handled by the boys and girls in blue at Incheon customs.

I have ordered both snuff and loose leaf chewing tobacco from the same company, off and on, since 2003. Therefore, I know how they ship it and how long, on average, it takes to get to Jeju Island.

The difference between how long it took in the past, and how long it takes this time, will give me a better idea of how the new customs regulations and procedures are affecting inbound shipments.

I'll keep everyone posted on "Operation Copenhagen."

To Heck With Food! Send Then Watches!!!

I was reading the news today and several stories had to do with that spoiled child, with a bad haircut, up north in Pyongyang. The stories were about the latest round of dreaded missile firings conducted by North Korea.

What caught my eye was that the "experts" are saying the missile launches were the little short guys way of sticking his tongue out while the U.S. was celebrating July 4th, Independence Day.

Besides thinking that the whole thing is childish, immature and a waste of some perfectly good Scud missiles, I was struck by the timing of the launches.

According to the article in the Korea Times the missiles were actually fired on JULY 3rd in the U.S. It seems Kim Jong Il and his boys kinda forgot about time/date conversion!!

Oooooh, somebody's going to a gulag for that one! Ooooohhhh.

So in order to break the current impasse I offer a compromise. Instead of food, fuel, medicines, etc. How about we offer to send them watches that work so they can stop embarrassing themselves.

Happy 4th of July!!!!

A special shout out and "THANKS!!!" to all the military veterans out there.

Have a great weekend.

LOJ and Family.

The Governor of Jeju Island Is In Hot Water Yet Again

The governor of Jeju Island is in hot water again. Gov. Kim Tae Hwan is facing yet another group of pissed off residents. Sometimes I really feel sorry for the guy. No matter what he does, he ends up pissing somebody off. O.K. I don't really feel sorry for him, but I do get a laugh from time to time at his expense.

The Governor seems to be a real polarizing figure. People either love him or love to hate him. Depending on who you talk to, Governor Kim is either the biggest SOB God ever created or "He will help Jeju Island develop."

Right after he was elected he became the target of some sore losers (ie. "civic groups) who accused him of violating election law and other such things. It was big news for about a week, then it "went away." It's amazing how things "go away" in Korea...

Now, the Governor is back in the news again because of pissed off "civic groups." This time because the navy base project on Jeju got the go ahead. This guy just can't win. This time petitions have been filed to have a recall vote in hopes of removing him from office.

Adding to his problems is the fact that he received an endorsement from the current President of Korea, Lee Myung Bak, who is not exactly "Mr. Popularity" himself.

So we'll see how this plays out. If anything it will be entertaining. You can read about all the goings on in the Korea Times.

Watching Korean politics is fun. Most of my students are better behaved than many of the elected officials I have seen on the news in recent months. But, I do have to say there is considerably less shoe throwing, spitting, biting, fire extinguisher discharging, crying, hair pulling, screaming, punching, kicking, stripping (yes, stripping), book throwing, and snot flinging in Jeju than in Seoul. Relatively speaking, Jeju is an island of stability - other than cussing and death threats, that is.

Whenever reading about "civic groups," don't let the term fool you. Just remember that any unemployed momma's boy with a computer can set up a small cafe on Daum or Naver and call himself a "civic group." In all actuality, the term is meaningless. But it sounds so good to the uninformed.

So, Governor Kim, have fun and keep your head up. When it gets really bad and you can't see anything but dark days ahead, take heart. Remember that it could be worse. Your name could be Bush or Cheney.....

I Guess I'm Not "Culturally Aware" Because

I find the following story from the Korea Times to be absolutely disgusting:

'Sex With Minor Not Crime If Not Forced'

By Kim Rahn
Staff Reporter

A local high court found a 46-year-old man not guilty of having sex with a runaway teenage girl, saying their liaison was neither forced nor in exchange for money.

The Busan District Court Wednesday upheld a lower court ruling that acquitted the man, identified as Kim, of charges related to the violation of the law covering the protection of minors.

Kim bought food for the 16-year-old girl, who was wandering near Seoul Station, and allowed her to stay at his home in December 2006. He was indicted for having sex with her while the two lived together for about six months.

``The girl had already been homeless for about two years before meeting Kim, and he did not control her after offering his house as a shelter to her request. So we don’t acknowledge the prosecution’s claim that Kim made the minor (engage in sexual activity) away from her parents’ protection,’’ the court said.

The court also found Kim not guilty of violating the laws governing the protection of adolescents, saying, ``They had sex, but she did not demand money and he did not give her money. He provided her with shelter, food and about 20,000 won pocket money, but there is no evidence that the offering was in exchange for sex.’

In Korea, a person is not guilty of any crime for having sex with a minor aged 13 and over unless it is paid for or forced. Sex with those under the age of 13 is punishable even if it is carried out under mutual consent.

MY thoughts:

Well, what the frig do you think shelter, food and "pocket money" were in exchange for? What the hell does the judge want, a friggin credit card receipt? Does the Korean legal system have any clue about coercion? Have they ever heard of "Put out or get out."

So a 46 years old man is banging a MIDDLE SCHOOL AGED girl. But the court thinks she is mature enough to really want to do the wild thing with Mr. Kim.

Excuse me? So you are telling me that in Korea, the age of consent for a girl is 12, yes 12 years old biologically speaking!!!!! Remember in Korea they count ages differently. If you hear 13, think 12 or maybe even 11 depending on the actual birth date of the CHILD. Also, anyone that works around Korean children knows that Korean children are not as emotionally mature as those of the same age in the West. When you hear "13" it is pretty safe to think "8" in mental/emotional years. This is not me talking, it comes from actual research. Look it up for yourself if you don't believe me. So a 46 year old pervert can bang a 13 (12) years old girl and as long as he didn't pay her or overtly "force" her, everything is just hunky dorry because Korea doesn't recognize statutory rape as a criminal offense.

The only thing I am wondering is if "Mr. Kim" was actually a Rev. Kim of Our Lady of Gravitational Pull and Perpetual Motion Holiness Church....

Oh and if someone is ready to fire off the usual, "Well in the US blah, blah, blah,..." let me save you some time. Here is the LINK. Just remember the difference in how ages are counted. In the U.S. a 16 years old girl is actually 17 years old in Korea.

And they call foreign teachers sex perverts......what a bunch of hypocrisy

Korean Customs and Shipping Things to Jeju

I finally received the package I have been waiting for since May, 30. I post the happy event here because of what this situation has taught me.

From speaking with Korean Customs officials, and reps from Hanjin Shipping, it seems that last April 1st, the regulations in Korea changed. The change has affected how Customs treats incoming packages. From what I am able to piece together from my discussions, Korean Customs is now becoming strict. Why? For two reasons, actually: First, because of asshats (Korean and Foreign) trying to bring in illegal drugs via international shipping companies like UPS, Hanjin, FEDEX, etc. and regular mail. STUPID, STUPID, STUPID. Second, there has been an increase in the amount of counterfeit goods people are trying to smuggle in to the country.

The end result is that you can add a minimum of at least 3 days (more like 5 to 7) to any listed shipping time to clear customs.

According to what I read in the Korean news yesterday, starting on June 8th, the regulations even became more strict and the checks more thorough. Consequently, the times will probably slow down even more and I foresee a lot of problems being experienced in the near term with getting things through.

Herbal Medicines:

If you order herbs or herbal medicine on the internet, don’t be surprised if your shipment is held up at customs. As one friend told me recently, he had to get a local doctor to send a fax to Korean Customs to certify that my friend needed the herbs for health reasons. According to what my friend told me, the Korea Customs rep warned him that, with the doctor’s letter, they would release the herbs this time, but not to order them again. I don’t know about supplements for you bodybuilders out there, but these items might also receive additional scrutiny.

The List:

Oh, and this will make you feel all warm and fuzzy, if Customs finds something out of the ordinary such as medicinal herbs, loose leaf tobacco or something else, and they have to investigate it, your name goes on a list of having received a “suspicious” package. My friends’ name is now on that list for something that was in his package (the herbal medicine). My name is on the list also. In my case, I had to actually fax a copy of the face page of my passport before they would release the package that contained a couple of tins of off-brand chewing tobacco (it sucks BTW). What this means is that, if your name gets on the list, ANY package that comes in with your name on it will likely receive special attention. In some cases you may not even know you are on the list, so be forewarned.

The Number of Packages and Ordering for a Friend:

Korean Customs also tracks how many packages come in addressed to a certain individual. This is mainly to catch those trying to use a foreign name to avoid import taxes, or bring in counterfeit goods for resell.

The Korean Customs Service is not dumb. I would avoid ordering for Korean friends and having it shipped under your name. You could end up in a fix because the Korean friend was trying to avoid a tax bill or bring in counterfeit goods.

There could be other reasons for using your name, of course. I remember seeing a news documentary where Korean customs stopped a package, addressed to a foreigner, that contained 10, yes 10, uhhhh “marital aids” still in their original plastic packaging. The look on the face of the KOREAN businessman, who came to pick up the package, was priceless as he, and the camera, looked at the rubber sex toys lined up on a table in front of a smirking female Customs officer. I would love to hear someone justify ten 12” rubber dongs for personal use. No, I’m not making this up. Korean TV can be damn interesting sometimes.

Of course, you can help your Korean friend order the items on the internet, but make sure it is addressed to them, not you. If your friend insists that the items they bought be shipped to you, “because it’s easier,” it would probably behoove you to politely decline. You don’t want that kind of headache.

I do not blame Korea Customs. They have a job to do and they do it. They are not in the personality business, either. Most are rude and/or have the personality of cardboard.

To be fair, with the new regulations, they are also looking a lot closer at packages addressed to Koreans because of repeated problems with young Koreans trying to smuggle in illegal drugs and counterfeit goods. But think of it this way, if a customs officer has just a few minutes to check two packages, one addressed to a foreigner and the other to a Korean, which one do you think he will tear apart? Riiiigggghhhhtttt. This is not my thinking. It is a paraphrase of what a surprisingly nice officer at Korean Customs in Incheon told me.

The above may raise a few people’s hackles. But thinking about it, if I were in a similar situation at U.S. Customs and I had two packages in front of me, one addressed to a “John Smith” and from Sydney, Australia and the other addressed to a “Joachin Alejandro Ramirez Morales de Jesus Martinez” and originating from Bogata, Columbia, guess which one I am going to tear apart? Riiiggghhhttt.

If you have a problem:

If you have a problem with customs it is imperative to have a native Korean speaker, preferably a pissed off ajumma, call for you. If you call, and even speak to a passable English speaker, you have a much greater chance of being blown off as a foreigner. Also, I wouldn’t waste my time placing a complaint on the “Complaint” page of the KCS website. It is useless in my opinion.

If you fax something to their office, NEVER assume they received it. Always call after faxing and confirm, and get the name of the person you spoke with. Again, the best person to do this is a pissed off ajumma. Trust me on this. A squeaky voiced youngster won’t get ya nowhere. Ajumma power is real and it works.

I recommend that if you’re unsure if what you are ordering can be shipped to Korea, check with Customs directly. DO NOT rely on the word of the seller or what someone tells you on some message board or blog.

(As an aside, I wonder if the foreign asshat, who was in prison on Jeju Island for attempting to smuggle illegal drugs in peanut butter, is still there. One can only hope.)